I had a dream

I had a dream for many years. That is to have a studio where I can go as my 'job' and just design whatever I want. Posters, random art, web sites - whatever I feel like doing. I could also work on my music or writing or do some 3D design or whatever. No restraints or anything. It would be me and whatever I want to do. And it would somehow pay the bills or the bills are paid or something so I wouldn't have a financial crunch to distract.

You see, I love designing things. Random works of art. Or not so random.
However, all my design energy is during my working hours. When I get home I'm really not inspired to design or write or anything. I'm worn out from the day and just want to chill.

The sad thing is, I think this dream is exactly what Dictionary.com says it is: a wild or vain fancy.

When I was much younger I thought that things like this where obtainable. Pray about it, wait for it and it will happen. But you gotta really want it I would think. I'm not 30 years old, working at a job where I really don't have the creative license to design whatever I feel like (who really has that job anyway?!) and never feeling like I'm doing much with my abilities. Or my desires or ideas. Whatever.

So I've decided: A dream is exactly that. A dream. A fanciful vision that will not likely happen. Maybe it is time I give up such thoughts.

Life has a way of saying "Yeah, I suck .. and therefore you will too."