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Posts Tagged ‘Sleep’

I’m feeling mighty tired lately and it isn’t all physical.

Life doesn’t always go the way you plan – usually it’s completely different. Honestly I pictured myself being in a totally different place by time I was 30. I thought I’d be making the big bucks doing things I love, maybe even being the owner of my own company. I thought I’d be doing some good things for God because I had the means.

Instead I continue to feel like I’m doomed … well, this. Entry level life. I’m pretty much career wise in the same place I was years ago. My skills have improved, but that’s it. I’m no longer playing music or doing a lot of random artwork.

I need to look at things I do have that I never took into consideration. A loving wife (well, yes I did take this in thought), two awesome kids, friends and my church family. I’ve been blessed in many ways I didn’t foresee.

So what am I complaining about?

It’s more of an observation really. It’s a three steps forward and four steps back in life that tires me out. Sucker punches.

In the end I just want to roll over and go back to sleep for a few weeks. Ignoring everything around me.

I can do that, right?

Or at least I feel like that is all my body and brain can do at this moment, provide a resting place for my hat. Poor Aidan is sick, so therefore most of the family got little sleep. Ethan I think  got more sleep than anyone else – and even he didn’t sleep that great!

<BREAK>

Now, other things to talk about.

I had a talk with Todd of LostGorilla yesterday – well, we talk every day since we work together. However, we talked about projects that are lined up. I have a story I’m going to do (other than Deadland Chronicles) that originally I saw as an easy story to do and so on. After talking to Todd and we came up with ideas for what can be done the statement was made that I "don’t do any little projects". I won’t give much information at this point on the other story because I want it to be  surprise. However, if this works I may do other stories I have lined up in a similar fashion.

Yes .. other stories.

I have a few of them. 5 at the very least – and that list will probably grow.

If you read this site regularly you’ll not be surprised by what I’m about to day: I’m a depressive person. I get really down really easily, depressed and ready to sleep the rest of my life away. No, never suicidal – but if I can sit under a desk and sleep until the day I die it would be fine.

I’ve been taking steps to try and push my way out of this cycle.

So here is a little blog dedicated to how I’m fighting my depression, ideas for you if you get depressed and hopefully I can help someone walk the same path!

Nutrition.

I know a large part of my depression is nutritional. I snack too much at work and don’t drink enough water. Heck, I like candy and chips and popcorn and coffee and soda. But I drink way too much of it. So, I’ve limited my coffee intake to mornings only (2 cup max) and I have a caffeine free soda at lunch and then water the rest of the day. I’ve cut my snacking considerably (helps that the office doesn’t provide a slew of food).

Believe it or not, this I think has helped.

Sleep.

I don’t get a lot of good sleep. I toss and turn. However, I’ve been trying to shoot for at least 5 hours of sleep a night and, while that’s not the medical recommended amount of necessary sleep, it has really helped. I’m not as cranky and I feel much better.

Exercise.

This one I fail in, but I know it helps. The brain needs oxygen and blood. The best way to do this is by doing something that makes your heart pump harder.

Biking, walking, running – these are excellent ways to get the blood moving to your brain which – believe it or not – is one of the best ways to beat depression! Especially during the winter!!

Now, I’ll talk about a few psychological changes I’ve made that really seem to help.

Complaining and Whining.

I have spent much of my life perfecting the art of mumbling under my breathe. Most people are great at this – ever since they’re a pre-teen they start talking ’smack’ about their parents under their breathe. They complain to their friends about how unfair things are.

It never stops at adult hood either. I’ve learned that adults are the best complainers in the world! Somehow we have this warped idea that everything in the world needs to fit in our own little box. It is the common belief that if it’s our plan, it should happen.

While I hate this saying, I’ll use it. Life isn’t fair. There is much more at play here than what outfit we have available to wear or the price of gas. Yes, these are annoying and sure – the isn’t anything wrong with getting a bit frustrated with stuff. Even let off a short complaint about the greed of oil companies or the sneakiness of Sock Goblins. However, let it go there.

I’ve figured out that my whining and complaining affected me profoundly. I was unhappy about everything. I couldn’t let the simplest things go. I was offended by nearly any infraction or any inconvenience. And while they probably will never admit it – I believe it was causing a strain on some of my friendships.

I’ve made it my goal to stop complaining. Not all together, because as I said – it’s not BAD to let off some steam now and again. But it’s my goal to cut it down to a bare minimum. Not just to other people, but to myself, under my breathe and even in prayer. Just let things go.

And that, my friends, have help considerably!

Praise, awe and adoration.

This one I’ve just started this week and my mood has increased immensely. And yes, this is based on a religion – but you don’t have to believe in God – or a god – in order to do thing (though to me it does help).

Look around you and find wonder in the world. Don’t look at the homeless or the pollution pumping factories – but look at the birds. Watch them effortlessly fly through the sky and be amazed. Look in the mirror and think about the wonder of the human eye. Think about the amazement of a blade of grass and how it can process light and turn it to food. Heck, even consider the dirt and how it has life sustaining properties. DIRT!

As a Christian I can stand and be amazed at the brilliance of Creation! I can look at a bird and see it flying and realize that God made that possible – through design. Not an accident.

I can marvel at things like cars, planes, roadwork and architecture and marvel at how intelligent mankind is.

Be amazed.

Be awed.

Marvel.

This has helped me a lot. Just thinking about it, considering it, talking to God about it … I get excited. I realize that I’m just another wonder. Yes, I’m color blind. Yes, I have arthritis in my hands and knees (yes, I’m young). Sure my body isn’t the picture of perfect health – but holy crap … the heart beats without me telling it to! My food is digested, viruses are fought, hair is grown … all without my telling it to. THAT is amazing!

Be amazed!

MARVEL!

Yes, it really works.

These things I’m doing. I’m trying and pushing myself to do. Sure I’ll fall and be bitter about things here or there or mumble to myself about things. But if I keep it up it will help me stay on the happier path.

Maybe I’ll end up being one of those weird people who are happy and smiling all the time?

One can dream.

Well, this is the end of the week – and yes, I know I spelled the title differently then a calendar week. I did it on purpose.

Why?

Because I’m trying to end a cycle that leaves me weak. Not physically – but emotionally.

See, I get tired and frustrated easily. I don’t think it has much to do with the amount of sleep I do or do not get, but more with my attitude. Sure, when you’re lacking in rest it’s easy to get all grouchy. But really, isn’t it about your choice?

So, the weakness of selfish grouchiness is over. I’m going to try and slay that dragon – walk up right and try and keep a spring in my step. People are watching. My sons will see a cheerful Daddy – not a grouchy whiny man.

Don’t worry – it’s not mean.

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun.
‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only £5; you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you £500.’
This catches the blonde’s attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question.
‘What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?
‘The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a fiver, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it’s the blonde’s turn.
She asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’
The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Air phone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the blonde and hands her £500. The blonde takes the £500 and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, ‘Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?’ The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer £5 and goes back to sleep.